Lucky Mama

We may have made it through the growth spurt. We were suspicious of teeth, thinking she was one of the early ones. But, the fussiness seems to have passed for the most part, and my happy baby has returned (tomorrow, I may regret jinxing ourselves by writing this).

Despite those days of fussiness and long crying jags and crankiness, I know that we are lucky. We have a good baby. A baby who's very tolerant and only cries when something is bothering her. She does not cry when her mom is trying to get her shirt over her head and can't quite do it without squishing her little nose. She does not fuss when her mom is taking a million photos and moving her this way and that. When she wakes for the day (usually around 10am after going back to sleep at around 7am), she does not wake up crying and mad. Nope. She wakes up cooing, as if she's talking to the characters on her wall, and telling stories to the little critters that are suspended above her. I lay in bed, listening to her and smiling, enjoying it. Sometimes she'll let out a really long coo, a real baby sound like you would hear on television, and my husband and I will laugh. After about ten minutes, the coos turn to "okay it's time to come get me" noises, so we'll go in and stand over her crib (that is, if hubby is not at work, otherwise it's just mama). She looks at us, and immediately smiles. The open-mouthed, gummy smile that immediately brings a smile to my own face. "Good morning!" I'll say. And she smiles again, kicking her little feet for all she's worth. Yep, we are very lucky.

I hear of other moms who's little ones have colic or reflux or are, for one reason or another, difficult babies, and I thank my lucky stars that we haven't had to worry about any of this. That's not to say it's been easy. For the first two weeks, we were zombies. Clueless, exhausted zombies. How much do we feed her? Is she still hungry? Should we put her down for a nap? Why is she crying? Was that poop or a fart? Is this normal? Oh, it was an experience. The most difficult thing we've ever done. These little tiny creatures are 100% dependent on you, and when you both feel as if you have no idea what you're doing, it can be overwhelming!

But oh, that feeling of her little body asleep on my chest. Her soft skin, her warm breath in my ear. Those impossibly tiny fingers gripping on to yours while she studies your face and you study hers. It's been only three months, but even now it's difficult to remember just how tiny she was. But the other day, I was holding her on my chest, and her legs reached my lap, and I realized that when she was first born, she would be all scrunched up, her knees pulled up, and her feet were nowhere near my lap!

Sniff...

Knowing how fast the time is going makes me sad, but as my husband says, I can't spend her days being sad, because before we know it, the time will have come and gone and I'll have spent it being sad! For now, I'll enjoy it. Yes, there will be times when she refuses to nap and I will get frustrated because for the love of god I only want a shower. And there will be times when I'm rushed and can't lay on the floor next to her while she bats at her toys. But I'll always know how lucky we are to have her, and how lucky we are to have a baby who doesn't seem to mind that her parents are still a little clueless.